Michelle Obama didn’t set out to be the First Lady of the United States of America. In fact, as she explains, she had very different aspirations. She wanted a dog and "a house that had stairs in it". After all, that was by no means a given if you grew up on the South Side of Chicago, as she did. We all know her as FLOTUS. The affable, smiling powerhouse, with an enviable intellect, an enviable approach to life (and, incidentally, enviable style). Someone with whom you'd really like to share a coffee. Someone you'd quite like to join your book club, perhaps. Michelle Obama's greatest strength, you might say, is that she's just so, well, normal. This book's a whistle-stop tour through all the things that made, and make, her normal. It's brutally honest. It talks about the need for IVF. It talks about the stress of being a working parent of small children. It covers the resentment which bubbles up when your spouse works away, pursuing their dream, and your career and hopes are in the firing line. Michelle is candid about the fact that, even with family support, there were times when she felt that her career would need to be put on pause. That she just couldn't keep all the balls in the air any longer. As we say, she's just so... normal.
But it's also a story of hope. An account of changing the circumstances into which she was born. Of changing the expectations of underrepresented and underprivileged communities - in her home city of Chicago and across America. Of the huge difference which engaged female mentors can make to your professional trajectory, and of what can happen when we support each other's ambitions, and become the cheerleaders of other women in the workplace. Of sometimes being one of only a handful of women of colour in a sea of white men, and of continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Because after all, how else can you change the world, except by doing exactly that? Michelle talks of the times when she couldn't see the woods for the trees. Of not knowing who she wanted to be, professionally and personally. Of the fear that her identity and her intelligence, once so clear and purposeful, would be consumed by her marriage to a spouse who was famous across America. She talks of her anxiety in walking away from a career towards which she's worked relentlessly her whole adult life - a career which has provided her with status and financial security in a community where both are sadly sometimes in short supply. She talks about taking her infant daughter along to an interview, to show her potential new bosses exactly who she is. She discusses screwing her courage to the sticking point and entering into testing negotiations for the professional flexibility she needs to continue in her work, and the success that arises when she obtains it. She covers the times when things just seem too hard. And what happens when you lift up your head and keep on walking.
She also knows that to ask a child what they want to be when they grow up is a fairly useless question. Michelle Obama has in her time been a lawyer, the vice president of a hospital, the director of a charity and, well, y’know, The First Lady of the United States of America. There are many who think or hope that she has even grander roles to come. She knows that "when you grow up" is not a fixed moment in time. That it’s never too late to change direction, if that’s what you want and if that’s where life takes you.
Let’s be realistic. Most of us won't end our days having been the First Lady of the United States. But we're not sure that that matters. The themes running through this book are so relatable that we loved it, despite the rather aspirational geographical setting. Yes, it will be difficult to carve out that personal and professional space for yourself as a parent. Sometimes it will feel almost impossible. And yet, that doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn’t do it.
You see, sometimes, when you can’t tell which direction to turn, you just need one person to place their finger on Middle C for you - to let you fly, to play your song.